In what form does he see himself now at this apt moment in his life? For he sees himself as nothing
much now. No giver of anything to the lives of others. Nothing substantial to fall back upon.
And his age is now telling
on him finally. He has limitations now, like nothing before. Where exactly is he at? The gap that broke the reality has never
been sutured. He has no career, no self made friendships, no real confidence of existence really.
Inside he feels a child
or something approaching that, whilst age casts a lie on the outside.
Life continues to be an emotional struggle.
His mind will still 'jam up' every now and again as if a machine.